How to Set Boundaries with a Chronic Illness - Living with a chronic illness is tough, no doubt about it. Over the last seven years my chronic illness of Ulcerative Colitis has changed almost every aspect of my life. Chronically being ill takes a lot out of you not only physically but emotionally as well. One of the toughest lessons for me to learn

Living with a chronic illness is tough, no doubt about it. Over the last seven years my chronic illness of Ulcerative Colitis has changed almost every aspect of my life. Chronically being ill takes a lot out of you not only physically but emotionally as well. One of the toughest lessons for me to learn over these years has been how to set boundaries to protect my energy. When you’re always running on an almost dead battery, everything is exhausting and takes twice the effort. Setting boundaries allows for more time to rest, giving you energy for things that you find to be truly important.

Define your limits- This is the first step in setting boundaries. How do you communicate your limits if you don’t know what they are to begin with? Make a list of activities that you feel requires your attention on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. Assess the list to see what things you actually don’t need to do, can do some other time, or can ask someone else to help with.
Use your voice- Speak up and be assertive! This can be hard at first, but with practice it will get easier. Use your voice to identify concerns, ask questions, or follow through on what you have set as your boundaries. It’s okay to start small if this feels difficult! Just be sure to be polite and sincere.
Give yourself permission- Give yourself permission to rest, relax, nap, or whatever it is you need to do to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself is a job too, don’t feel guilty for doing it! This was one of my biggest obstacles at first. I had always felt like ‘resting’ didn’t count on the list of things to do, but I was so wrong. The time you take to rest is just as important as taking your medicine, healthy eating, and exercise.
Ask for help- Asking for help can be challenging, especially if you’re used to doing everything yourself. Just ask me how I know! However, asking for help even with everyday tasks can bring so much relief and can give you time to rest. As a woman especially, I feel like we put so much pressure on ourselves to try and cook and clean in addition to everything else. It’s okay to let your partner do it or help do it, or even hire a maid. Whatever allows you to get time back to take care of yourself is the goal.
Take care of you- There is only one you! Make self-care one of your top priorities. This can look different for everyone. For some its face masks, nails, and a bubble bath. For others a good book and a nap, or therapy session. Whatever self-care looks like for you, practice it! If you can’t function, nothing in your life will either, rest is paramount with chronic illness.

By taking the five steps above, you can define for yourself and everyone in your life what boundaries you have. This gives a clear picture of what you can do and what you can’t. This may change even on a daily basis with chronic illness, but the important part is that you communicate with them. These steps are great starting points to be able to work on using your voice, and giving yourself permission when asking for help. Remember self-care counts as work too, and it’s some of the most important work you do. Start small, be consistent, and be your own priority. In no time you will be setting boundaries like a pro!

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